Cosmic Tinder: The Universe Is Swiping Left
Cosmic Tinder: What If Space Missions Were Dating Profiles?
It all started with a bad headline and a YouTube video.
I was listening to a space explainer about China’s proposed Tianwen-4 mission and its future rendezvous with Uranus.
The host trying to stay professional; said the phrase:
“Tianwen-4 will probe Uranus.”I lost it.
Then I read the mission description:
“Mission hopes to connect with Uranus in 2045.”
“May perform a flyby if conditions are right.”
“Could rendezvous with Neptune instead.”
And just like that… Cosmic Tinder was born.
What if planets, satellites, moons, and probes all had dating profiles?
What if their missions were personal? Petty? Lonely? Insecure?
What if space was just one giant interstellar swipe-a-thon filled with red flags, ghosting, mixed signals, and exoplanet flirtation?
🌌 Cosmic Tinder: The Concept
It’s a cosmic comedy meets classroom crash course.
Imagine if every probe, planet, telescope, and rocket had a dating profile—complete with sass, science, and a touch of heartbreak.
It’s educational, hilarious, and a little unhinged…
Like a swipe-right love letter to space exploration.Or, shorter:
“Tinder profiles for satellites, rovers, and planets: equal parts NASA and nonsense.”Think Cosmos meets Cards Against Humanity, with just enough orbit decay to keep things spicy.
Cosmic Tinder is part fake dating app, part science parody, and part soft cry for help from every probe humanity has ever flung into the abyss.
It's a book (and probably a sticker set and card deck eventually) that combines humor, snark, and actual space facts; just with better personalities and more emotional damage.
💫 Sample Profiles
Uranus
“Tired of the jokes. Tired of being overlooked. Haven’t had a proper mission since Voyager 2 in 1986. Still waiting for someone to care.”Tianwen-4
“Ambitious. Multi-targeted. Not sure if I'm visiting Uranus or flirting with Neptune. Looking for long-term data, not just a flyby.”Voyager 1
“Left in the 70s. Still ghosting everyone. Occasionally sends a postcard. Plays The Golden Record on loop.”Phobos
“Weird shape. Fast orbit. Full of existential dread. Don’t get attached.”
🚀 Why I’m Making This
Because honestly? Space missions are wildly emotional if you read between the lines.
Because science communication doesn’t have to be dry.
Because I needed an outlet for planetary puns, and Earth isn’t enough.Cosmic Tinder lets me combine my love of astronomy, dry humor, and weird analogies into something smart, silly, and accidentally educational.
🛠 What’s Coming:
A full book of profiles (with illustrations!)
Swipe-style decks with fun facts on the back
Expansion sets:
The Moons of Regret
Red Flags and Rogue Planets
Rejected Missions & Ghosted Asteroids
And possibly a zine called “Voyager’s Last Text”
💛 Want to Help Launch It?
Cosmic Tinder is for the lonely nerds, the stargazers with trust issues, and the science lovers who believe even Uranus deserves a second chance.
Stay tuned and swipe responsibly.
—Selene
