Don’t Sh*t in the Blue Cupboard: Idioms, Sarcasm, and Viking Wisdom
Some people collect stamps. I collect sayings that could get you kicked out of a dinner party.
This book started as a sticky-note joke pile and grew into a multilingual, cultural, sarcastic guide to survival: featuring idioms from Norwegian, Swedish, Alaskan, and chaotic personal origin, all wrapped in questionable wisdom and one Viking named Kragar.
The book is called:
Don't Sh*t in the Blue Cupboard: Idioms, Sarcasm & Survival from the North and Beyond (working title)It’s part illustrated, part explainer, part commentary and all extremely honest.
🧠 What’s Inside?
Idioms you’ve never heard but will immediately want to use
Sayings like:
“No cow on the ice” (Don’t worry, yet.)
“Don’t get your beard caught in the mailbox” (Don’t get stuck doing something your not suppose to.)
“Don’t sht in the blue cupboard”* (…don’t.)
Cultural notes, modern breakdowns, and when it’s okay to ignore advice completely
Appearances by Kragar the Questionable, a Viking in a flat cap with porcupine energy who watches but never interferes
✍️ Why I’m Writing It
Because sarcasm is a survival skill.
Because culture is baked into language in the weirdest ways.
Because I grew up hearing sayings that made no literal sense but told you everything you needed to know about life, family, weather, and whether someone was about to throw hands.And because I wanted a book that felt like being raised by dry-humored aunties, chaotic cousins, and one retired Norse god who occasionally offers advice from a sauna bench.
🧾 Bonus Features
Side notes and commentary from Kragar
Illustrated scenes of idioms in action (yes, the blue cupboard one is coming)
Regional slang and sayings from Alaska, the Southwest, and Scandinavian pockets of wisdom
Companion merch: mugs, stickers, and maybe a survival journal
💛 Want to Help It Happen?
This book is for the folks who grew up with weird family phrases, translated feelings into jokes, and learned to read the room and the weather through idioms.
And it’s just the beginning.
—Selene
